Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

To many, Easter is the beginning of spring, a sign of rebirth. I feel the same, along with thanking Jesus for all I have in my life, to remember the love he has for me. There are so many ways to start over and give yourself a rebirth. New Years, Easter, a random Monday morning. I never feel like I HAVE to start over, because I've always been happy with myself, give or take a few pounds. As I write this, I look back to when I really felt reborn, with a new start. It was with the birth of my son. Honestly, once you have a child, nothing really matters anymore. And everyone says it because it's true. That child is the absolute focus, and you're never the same. L was born in May, right when spring was underway, in NYC. We brought him home to our little apartment, sat him in his swing, and ordered take out. I sat down and felt I could stay there forever. He was a perfect baby, so sweet, a great eater, and slept through the night at 3 months. Worked out perfectly as I had to return to work. And when I did go back, I felt a shift. A sad shift from my new mommy cocoon, I was now a working mother, and my focus couldn't entirely be on my sweet baby. I had to worry about quotas, presentations. And I just didn't care. I still worked hard, and did well, but it was a true turn within myselft. I could care less about work, which was so odd. I started working when I was 15, the age you are allowed to get your learners permit. Work, where I worked, where I was going to work, what kind of work, THAT had been the focus. But that was done now, the focus was on L.

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