I had planned on running while we were up in the Adirondacks, but we went up a day late, and basically didn't have enough time to fit it in. We spent the whole day Friday at the water park, hauling tubes up hills, climbing steps to the rides, and being thrown around by water. By the end of the day I was wiped out, and for some reason my knee was hurting, but I was happy we were able to finally make the trip before school started.
Here we are on the train ride:
Saturday we needed to head home, we had shopping and cleaning to do for the annual birthday party we throw in August for Eliza, Mike, and his Dad. This year we added my mom in law to the mix, as well as Mike's cousin. We had a lot of cake....
Back to my run. We left the ADK around lunchtime, it was very weird, it was so quiet on the lake for a Saturday in August. The state closed the campgrounds near my mom and dad in law's place, because of Hurricane Irene. We're four hours north of NYC, but strong winds and rain were expected, so they were being on the safe side I guess.
We didn't eat before starting the drive, so I didn't fuel up as well as I should have before a 14 mile run, I had nuun, water, two Little Debbie peanut butter wafer bars, and goldfish crackers. Stupid Stupid. By the time we got home and unpacked, it was after three o'clock, but I set off in the 81 degree heat, it was humid to boot.
I really wasn't in the mood to run.
I made it about a mile, and was still in my neighborhood, when I saw what looked like a body on the side of the road. As I got closer, I realized it was a huge deer. Which annoyed me, obviously someone had hit it, and just left it there.
I got out on the main road, with the sun right overhead, and found my pace. A cyclist passed by me, and gave me the high sign. I was okay for a while, but was feeling the heat, so I looked at G-unit, and had barely gone four miles. WTF? I can bang out six miles no sweat, but at this point, I was already dragging.
So I put on my ipod, didn't help.
Had a GU, didn't help.
Tried paying attention to my surroundings, didn't help.
Thought of all my fellow runners who are injured, and how much they would love to be running right now, didn't help.
Thought of my family and friends in NYC and Long Island, and the hurricane, didn't help.
Started to think about my blog. Thought about how lately, I feel like I'm censoring myself a bit. How I don't think people want to read about the things I think about, and worry about, on a daily basis, so I don't go there. How I wrote a long email to my BFF Jennifer, and after I sent it, realized that could have been a whole blog post.
Thought of how this run really sucked, and that my head was not in it.
Thought of Yo Gabba Gabba, and their song "Don't Stop Don't Give Up." Didn't work.
Thought of the marathon, and all my family and friends who are going to come and watch me run by and give them a high five. Didn't help.
Thought of how great it's going to feel to run through all those NYC Streets that I know so well. Didn't help.
Thought about 9/11, and how I'm not ready for the 10th Anniversary coverage to start. Didn't help.
Thought of Julia, and my friend J's husband, and my friend L, and how they live with Neurofibromatosis. Didn't help.
At mile 8.5, called Mike, and asked him to come get me, so I could finish the run in the comfort of my basement treadmill.
Felt like a failure.
Got moving again, felt a second wind, probably because I knew I was going home. Was trudging along, when a white Honda came towards me, with my friend Norine hanging out the car window to give me a high five. She was coming home from playing golf, and if Mike weren't on his way to get me, I swear I would have climbed right into her back seat.
Then Mike and the kids came along, I got in his car, got home, went down to the basement, banged out the last 5 miles while watching Rachel Zoe's show on Bravo. Have no idea what it's called, I have no real interest in fashion, but I got sucked in.
Then I was done.
Finally.
Then I remembered that it's okay to have a sucky run once in a while.
Because that's why they call it training.
23 comments:
First, WTG! I have LOTS of sucky runs that just feel impossible while they are happening, but feel like a Olympic size accomplishment once they're done. Great job digging DEEP (to the inner core) to find the motivation to keep going.
Second, I obviously can't speak for everyone, but as for me- I love your blog no matter what you talk about it. Blogging is kind of an outlet -s o let it out! We'll (or at least I will) read whatever you post!
Third, I never think about blogging while I run, but . . . I like the idea - will have to have that on my "go to" list of topics to think about when running feels hard (and it feels hard a lot!).
Finally - have a great evening! Hope it's a relaxing and happy one.
I don't always comment, but I do enjoy reading your blog. Use it as an outlet for your thoughts ... :)
And great job on banging out 14 miles even though you didn't totally feel it. :)
I like runs like those bc although they suck, I feel like you learn a lot about yourself. Way to get it done despite the suckiness!
When you are injured, a sucky run is better than no run. Be happy that you can run!
Sucky runs are important, they make you appreciate those great runs :)
Thanks for being so honest and real!
But you still ran...good going!
Well, you certainly tried all the tricks to keep going! I am super impressed you came home and finished out on the treadmill...that would have been mentally really tough for me! And now it's over and the next one will be better.
We all have bad days. All we can hope for is more good days than bad days.
Some days, we just "dont have it" the fact you finished on the dreadmill is a testament to your dedication
I love reading you blog. I do know how you feel though. I feel that way to. Boy I have had some sucky runs. Where from the first to the last mile I'm just not wanting to do it. That is my love/hate relationship with running. You are doing great on your runs. Let that run go and go on to the next . I bet your next long run will be great. Hang in there.
We're heading to the water park in about an hour. The kids are so excited - this is there first time!
Great job getting through it! The sucky runs make us stronger runners.
Hope your next run is awesome!
I don't see that as a fail at all. You processed lots of thoughts that needed to be worked out, and you did the whole run anyhow, just not in the same place.
I LOVE the Rachel Zoe Project!
That is a total mental win in my books...
Yes, training is a never ending cycle of up and down! I think you still did great!
Your right. You gotta get those out in training so they don't happen on race day. Way to stick it out girl. Really. I'm proud of you! I probably would have called it a day when I got home, but you stuck it out. Give yorself some love for that.
I remember two years ago training for Portland Marathon (my last marathon training....*sigh*) and every single long run pretty much sucked. I think I was training too high of a pace, though didn't think so at the time, and just never felt great. Anyhoo, it's funny all the things we think about while out on that long road. I'd tell myself I was going to think about so-and-so for three solid minutes and then move onto the next person. I'd make it like 10 seconds on one person before I started thinking how much this run sucked. But when the marathon rolled around...I nailed it! :) And I know you will, too!!
Definitely had a run like that on Saturday too. Just did not want to be out there and nothing could make it better. I have seen that Rachel Zoe show and its weird but it does suck you in.
Did you go to Water Safari? We went there while my husband was home on leave, and camped just up the road, it was SO much fun.
TWO little Debbie bars as a pre-run fuel? I love you.
No seriously, we all have those runs where we just feel like shit and don't want to do them. While some people may quit, you had the grit to stick to it and get it done no matter what. Good for you!
You're going to kick this marathon right in the arse.
The sucky runs are the ones that really make you strong for the big and longer races. We need to get through them and they build good character. Well done Molly!
I agree with Johann remembering the famous saying: no pain no gain.
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