Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I've decided it's genetics

I realized that whenever I do a recap of a run, there is always a sentence about how I missed out on looking at my surroundings, because I was too busy looking at the ground. This is so I don't trip and fall. I'm always stumbling, and I usually have a couple of bruises somewhere on my body, so there is a definite risk in falling. I don't think its me, I think I only have my family genes to blame. Just to give you an idea of my clumsiness:

I once fell off a bike, that was not in motion, and gashed open my leg. Still have the scar.

I've stapled my finger twice. Twice.

I once dropped a razor in the shower, and cut open my toe.

I was walking down a hill to make the school bus, slipped in my gold penny loafers, and ripped open my green stirrup pants, and knee. It was the late '80's, hence the color combo.

Once at a high school football game, I was getting off the school bus with the rest of the band (flute, in case you're wondering), and I fell down the stairs. I sat the entire game with my foot up on a base drum, covered with a bag of ice.

I had a pocket knife close on my pinkie during a camping trip. Still have the scar.

In college I:

1. slipped on some ice coming out of class, then fell down the stairs. I had a bruise the size of my roommate's head.
2. tripped on a hill, and sprained my ankle. Back at the dorm, they called the EMT's since I couldn't walk. Per school policy, they strapped me to a chair-like contraption and carried me down four flights of stairs, in full view of everyone. Dork.
3. at a party, I went down a staircase too quickly, and broke my ankle. Mike and I were dating. We got a ride to the ER, and he went in to get a wheelchair for me, and proceeded to wipe out into the sliding glass doors. One fell and glass shattered all around him. Jinx?
4. walked into the living room of my apartment, and broke my toe on the couch.

One New Year's Eve, I was waiting tables. I fell down the stairs (shocker) carrying a full tray of champagne filled glasses. I had a bruise on my thigh the size of my head, and I think I did some deep tissue damage, that sucker didn't go away for weeks.

Another night, coming home from waitressing, I wiped out on black ice, and the entire contents of my purse scattered in slow motion across the dark parking lot. I called out to a non-existent friend that I would "be right there" in case someone was in the bushes waiting to kill me.

I was coming out of a bathroom in a bar in New Orleans, and I slipped on a weird step, and.....broke my ankle.

My sister A has a problem with doors. She walked into a plate glass door because she thought it was open, there was a perfect rectangle on the glass where her forehead hit. Another time she walked into a screen door, then kept walking, and broke the entire door out of the frame, just like the Hulk.

I could go on, but I won't. I think I have my parents to blame for all of this. My dad once put his hand through a window while trying to open it, fell and broke his wrist while going down a flight of stairs, then broke his collarbone falling off his bike while training for a triathlon. My mom broke her ankle, walking into a room.

I don't know. I hope L&E get Mike's genes.


Julie said...

Hi Molly,
Good Lord girl, what are we going to do with you? I am really having a hard time not laughing:) You have a very funny post today!! Did all of these things actually happen to you? I did step on a razor once and I cut my big toe!! Wow!! You need a few extra angels flying along with you:) I hope that you have a a great day Molly, and be careful!!

Jen Feeny said...

OMG! You poor thing! I am such a klutz too! Do not feel bad! Thanks for sharing the laugh!!!

Pining for Pinterest said...

Oh my goodness! My MIL is the same way!! Love the stories :-)

Janie B said...

Maybe you should pad your surroundings. Ha! My sister does things like that, too. Watch out!!

Mark said...

Holy crap. Yeah, I'm not getting near you!

kristen said...

Dear Lord, remind me to never run with you. I'd probably get hit by a car - guilty by association :)

Don't feel bad - I had that same outfit!

yonca said...

Ohmy gosh! Molly, take care of yourself!My hubby such a klutz too.Your pic is so cute! Love your story!

Liz Mays said...

There is so much here that I'm just having trouble even processing it! I can't believe you're still with us, quite frankly.

Tara said...

OMG. I am laughing my ARSE off! You really stapled your finger...twice? Silly girl.

My daughter is the same way. She'll trip over anything and everything. Never broken anything yet....

I see where you get it though. Your parents crack me up!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the giggles this morning. I'm sorry for the defective genes but you know how to laugh about it, at least.

Zoƫ said...

Oh goodness! I thought I was accident prone... sorry chica. :(

mudmama said...

Wowza- that is quite a lot of accidents! (I have had quite a few too, but maybe not quite that many ;))

BTW, I made your roasted cauliflower the other night ... YUM!!

Mrs. M said...

I can totally relate to this, I am a little accident prone myself! :)

Simply Mel said...

Oh my! That's quite a history!

Genetics? I wish I could say that but unfortunately, I'm the only ONE in my family that's clumsy! :D

ajh said...

You should be thankful for each day you DON"T hurt yourself! Love the shout out to the friend in the bushes!

Serenityville said...

That is hilarious!!! I seriously can't fathom it. Aren't you an athlete? Wow, I'm amazed at the uncoordination. Is that you in the picture? I have a very uncoordinated friend, she smacks into things all the time. I say it's cause she's not paying attention, then tells me to shut up and trips over the ottoman.
Don't be insulted, but I think we have similar writing styles. Reading your blog kinda feels like reading mine. Is that weird?

Nicole @ Chic and Cheap Nursery said...

OMG! Are you for real?! I've never met anyone that has broken their ankle so many times!

You are very fortunate that you body recovers so well!


Susan Fobes said...

Man, I would blame genetics too! I always thought I was a clutz, but I think you have me beat... LOL!

Lisa said...

Oh my gosh! I don't know if I should laugh or cry for you! I am such a klutz too and often find bruises and have no idea where they came from!

So glad I found you on SITS today! I'm in the Tall Mom 1000+++ challenge too! Have a good & injury-free day!

The Rantings of a Drama Queen's Mum said...

Hi. Visiting from SITS. Wow, you sound worse than me. I'm always walking into doorknobs, tripping over things, getting bruises, but I've never broken anything or sprained anything.